I figure it’s about time for a non-bible related post to shake things up a bit.
Just got home from my last final of the semester, and I’m feeling good about things. Final grades haven’t been posted yet, but I’m fully expecting straight As. Take that, engineering school!
For the first time in a long time, I feel confident about my life choices. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a lot of anxiety and angst and existential worry in my life. It was especially bad near the end of my first time in college when I was an art major, and then again when I was working at the call center. You want to talk about existential crisis- try finding meaning in life when you work for shit wages at a call center, and have an art degree you aren’t using.
Then, when I started doing engineering school part time but was still worked full time at the call center, I worried all the time if I was making the right choices. At that rate, it was going to take me approximately forever to finish school (8 years, if memory serves me), and I wasn’t totally sure engineering was what I wanted.
Now that I’ve been able to quit that job, and focus on school full time, I feel so much better. I’m happy with what I’m studying; I find it interesting and satisfying. It was a big, scary jump from art to engineering, but I’m happy I took the plunge.
I still feel stress and worry, but it’s situational- worry about an upcoming test, stress about how much homework I have, etc. That is much more manageable than worrying about the meaning of life.
Over the last 4 months, I have learned quite a lot about math, science and engineering. I’ve also gotten some bonus education in gender. Being one of only a handful of girls in the program has been enlightening, and not nearly as scary as I expected.
So, blah blah blah, I just wanted to throw that all out there, so I could share my happiness.