Deuteronomy 28-29

Chapter 28- A list of the good things that will happen to the people if they follow God, and the bad things that will happen if they don’t.

The list of possible bad things is about twice as long as the possible good things, which I think is quite revealing of the nature of the OT God. Regardless of what the blessings/curses are, there are twice as many possible curses as blessings.

Then, when you get in to the details of what the possible curses are…well…God can be vicious. For example, “You shall betroth a wife, but another man shall lie with her.” (vs 30) Yeah, God is going to use rape as punishment– not even rape of the person who broke God’s commands (which is still deplorable, but at least makes a little more retributive sense), but rape of his wife. More evidence, I think, that women are nothing more than property and that having your property damaged is one of the worst things that could happen.

Or how about this one: “You shall eat the fruit of your own body, the flesh of your sons and your daughters whom the Lord your God has given you, in the siege and desperate straits in which your enemy shall distress you.” (53) God is going to make life so miserable for these people that their only recourse will be filicide and cannibalism. A couple verses later, it describes in somewhat uncomfortable detail how women will be forced to secretly eat their placentas. Seriously. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Verse 63, “And it shall be, that just as the Lord rejoiced over you to do you good and multiply you, so the Lord will rejoice over you to destroy you and bring you to nothing.”  God’s ain’t even mad, bro. He’ll be perfectly content to make the crops grow, or rape your wife. Whatevs.

joey-shrugChapter 29- Another reminder of how God helped them while they wandered the desert, then more threats about what will happen if they decide to follow other gods.

This chapter also has about twice as many threats as it does encouraging words. God will burn the people to the ground if they worship other gods, and he’ll make sure that the surrounding nations know exactly why these people were destroyed. I think, if I were a non-Hebrew back then, I’d be counting my blessings that I wasn’t beholden to such a tyrant.



About Essential Everyday Pineapple

Crazy cat lady extraordinaire, liberal, atheist, feminist, vegetarian, engineering student with an art degree. Essential Everyday Pineapple is just a phrase from a random word generator that had a nice ring to it. What? Blog names are tough.
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